Over the past few weeks, I have found myself glued to my screen, watching tiktok and FB reels. I come into my studio with a long list of things to do – and every single one of those items promptly slides right on out of my head.
Generosity
Instead of Doing what I Oughta Do, I spend 900 million hours sitting here watching these things. At one point last week, my inner critic was silently berating me harshly for ‘wasting time.’
But in truth, when I looked closer, I was in actuality learning a lot – about the happenings in the world, about how people act under pressure, in love, when they are hungry, at home, in school, or in business.
I saw how kind people really are, despite the general attitude that ‘people are mean assholes’ – many many reels showing people helping people cross streets, get food, reclaim devastated property, and way more things I can’t think of right off the top of my noggin.
And I learned about vitamins, and minerals, and supplements – what I was missing, needing, or had too much off. As soon as I took the advice of Dr. Berg, for instance, and started using more complex magnesium and stopping another kind, I started sleeping better.
I learned more about people who are autisitc, neuro-divergent (not me! hah! oh yah!); about being irritable or angry because of health imbalances; about vets and kids and moms who suffer from criticism and lack of mental/emotional/financial support.
I could go on, but I finally had to admit to myself that I have been going through an intense humanity-training, and that instead of ruing the day the reels were invented, it would be better to be grateful for every one of them I have watched.
I feel freer – of judgements, of anger and resentments I had been holding, of fear, and more – and especially fear of the world at large just because I am a woman.
I’m glad I sat here all that time. I’m glad I had the opportunity, the chance, the equipment.
And now! Now it’s time for me to walk forward again, boldly!
And focus more on my products and drawings and other art. I have so many fantastic ideas – I can’t wait to roll them out!
I did something different this holiday time – instead of spending time partying with folks (which I really don’t even enjoy all that much because I’m so deaf), I went inward, reassessing, making plans, laying out and starting on new pathways for 2025.
I hope you have a fine holiday time, and an unimaginably wonderful 2025 – I plan to!!!
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GENEROSITY
© Angela Treat Lyon 2024