Listening to Shanna spout crap like that made my belly churn. What the heck was she thinking??? But suddenly, she went into this kind of glassy-eyed trance . . .

Shanna came back over today to tell me she was so grateful to me for stopping her panic attack yesterday. And, all excited, told me about the ideas she was going to follow up on.

But suddenly, she went into this kind of glassy-eyed trance, and started reminiscing about how she had loved living in Hawaii ‘back then’ (in truth, she had hated it and could never stop talking about ‘getting outta here’) and how her life was better then (it definitely was not!) . . .

After a minute or two of this, I waved my hands around like a crazy person, interrupting her monotone. Listening to her spout crap like that made my belly churn. What the heck was she thinking???

“Hello? Are you even in there?” I asked. “What are you talking about? You detested living there! How did you go from being all hot to trot, talking about new ideas, to how you supposedly loved living in Hawaii? Didn’t you want to go over your new ideas? Did you get lost?”

She was dead silent for a minute.

“You’re right!” she exclaimed, looking puzzled. “I was so thrilled about the new things I’m planning! Why did I DO that?”

“I think we do that because our mind’s safety valve goes off when we’re about to try something new. It likes the familiar old ways, and tries to keep us from falling or tripping when we venture towards new, scary ideas.”

She nodded. “Yeah. That’s exactly what it felt like!”

Shanna hasn’t had the training I’ve had in dealing with thoughts, emotions and mindset – I’m the first one in her life to show her alternative ideas, processes and methods.

It’s incredibly refreshing to see her examine and take on – or reject – these ideas, because she doesn’t collapse into helplessness the way so many others do.

She was incredulous. “Look what my mind did!” she shouted. I thought she was going to rant about how her mind was trying to sabotage her.

She surprised me, though.

“Look what my mind did! Isn’t it amazing? It was trying to keep me safe! How ya like that! Thank you, mind! Thank you! I wonder what else we can do together!”

I loved that  -  what a great way to look at it.

We talked again about how she had collapsed into fear yesterday because of what she had believed about the results the elections would bring about, and how that had surprised and floored her, because it wasn’t how she normally approached life.

I showed her a simple way to take fears and turn them into strength and power, and how to shift doubt and lack of confidence into self-assurance and right-for-her actions. She took it right on, like she’d been doing it her whole life.

I thought to myself, “Now let’s see if you can remember to do it in the times you fall back!” Mainly because I know first-hand how it’s so easy to forget we do have that power.

I loved watching her do a hip-swiveling happy dance all the way across the street to her house.

It had been incredible, watching how lightning-fast she had detoured from thinking about what her new plans were, into that state of fairy-tale looking at her past.

She slipped into it so smoothly, that if I hadn’t had the experience of working with so many people in cases just like this, neither of us would have caught it. We’d have hung out for who knows how long, fantasizing about our lives ‘back in the day’ living in Hawaii.

The thing is, looking back at times, places and events in the past without direct, singular purpose, never gives you anything real or substantial.

The longer you stay looking back, longing and yearning, the less connected you are to the reality around you Right Now . . . which then increases your pain. It only sets the stage for more heartache.

I know darn well that when I spend time looking back and aching for Hawaii, if I don’t stop it immediately, my wanting increases to unbearable, and my happiness slinks away like a greasy snake.

Even if I did go back, it would never be as good as I’m hallucinating that I had it, once upon a time. Truthfully? It wasn’t all that great, all the time. I’m just remembering the high points, yearning for those. But life isn’t all high points!

So instead, I train myself to focus on filling my heart with things that feel good – now. Right now. Whether small or large.

And since I know I’m easily distracted, I do my best to focus ruthlessly, as if I’m a lone soldier in a desert full of enemies. The quality of my life depends on my doing it.

It’s the only thing that keeps me from heading back into deep depression. It works, and feels good.

Depression and longing really suck. I can tell you from raw, first-hand experience of having (somehow) lived through 35 years of being under their dark thrall.

Depression and longing drain you until your soul feels like it’s been completely drained dry and then scraped over hot coals for good measure.

It’s so painful that you end up too weak to even lift your head off your pillow, paralyzed, unable to do one solid thing that feels good, because you think and believe you cannot.

That is, until you DECIDE to kick depression and longing in the teeth.

Until you DECIDE to head in the other direction.
Until then, you are their slave.

Do EVERYthing you can to turn to the sun of your being and focus on that, no matter what.

Really really truthfully LOOK at what you think.
LOOK at what you believe.
LOOK at what you do.

Delete what doesn’t fill your heart with joy or satisfaction.
Just hold up your hand to it, and say NO, I’m not going there anymore.

Allow yourself time to think about and meditate on what would make your life a living joy celebration.

Make lists of don’t-likes/want-insteads like what we did with Shanna.
(Find out how to do that HERE.)

DO the want-insteads.

Start now.

Nope, don’t pause for anything – go make your lists, and start DOing the one thing you chose to do first.

Do it until you feel like Shanna did, so delighted she did a hip-swiveling happy dance.

Then move on to the next thing you chose to do. And the next . . .

That’s how it works!

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Use your golden energy to effect change!

RACCOONS & FISHIES IN the WATERFALL 
Original art © Angela Treat Lyon 2023

https://www.instagram.com/angela.treat.lyon/