I WILL KEEP YOU SAFE ALWAYS

When my kids were little, they were friends with a pair of brothers whose mother was insanely over-protective. She used to drive me nuts.

I can still hear her shrill shriek, “Don’t climb that wall, you’ll fall off! If you go up that tree, I’m not going to take you to the hospital when you fall! You can just lie there in pain!” And on and on, with every new ‘dangerous’ thing they tried.

We never let her know that when they were at our house, I told them, “you can scale the walls and walk on top and climb up the big loquat tree, and if you want, we’ll take you down to the beach and show you how to boogey-board and surf, too!”

Those kids practically flew up those weeny little branches fast as weasels, grabbed baskets full of loquats and skittled back down faster than if they’d been greased. And they never fell. Not once. Not any of them.

You know when they fell?

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WASABI

It was 1966. I was 21. I was new to California culture, having been brought up back East. I had come west to stay with an aunt and uncle in San Francisco, after I divorced my first husband.

I eventually landed in Santa Cruz. Those were the hippy days – lots of pot and acid, UFO sightings (yes, we saw lots – and no, we weren’t high when we did see them), and the beginning of the rampant development of the crafts. That’s when I became a potter.

My BF at the time decided to introduce me to his favorite Japanese restaurant. Eating Japanese food back east wasn’t particularly common, so I had no clue what I was getting into. Along with several of his close buddies, I met him at the restaurant, where he had reserved one of those fancy, private, sit-on-the-floor-under-a-low-table rooms.

All was going fine – we had some lovely miso soup, some shredded pickled veggies, and a bit of tempura appetizer …

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RED SINGS the BLUES

In an argument with my son a few days before I left Hawaii to live in California at the end of 2018, he asked me if I had ever had myself checked for mental illness.

I was so shaken by the question I had no cogent reply. Looking back on my life, however, I can see how a question like that would have seemed to make sense to him.

He’s seen me go through great bouts of depression, days of crying, weeks of confusion and short-term memory loss, and times where I’d walk around the house feeling purposeless and numb.

What neither of us knew was what caused those experiences was so simple that they could have been avoided completely, and were physical illness, not mental. Continue reading

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY…

How many times have we heard, “Laughter is the best medicine”? Lots! Right?

Well, a neighbor who is constantly bugging me about this little thing or other started in on me today. I had been standing on my little door stoop, enjoying the sun, and wasn’t about to let him wreck my day.

I thought about that saying, and instead of getting mad and wishing he’d just go away, I simply held up my hand and said, “Talk to the hand!”

He stopped, blinked, and stammered, “Huh?”

I said, “My hand is more interested in what you have to say to me than I am, so if you can find it, carry on!” And proceeded to place both hands in my pockets.

He blinked, and started laughing!

“You’re crazy, you know that?” he said, as he shrugged and walked away.

I thought to myself, “You’re just now getting that?” I didn’t say it, though. Why invite more conversation with a downer?

I was amazed he laughed. But no matter – it stopped the stream of downerisms he was about to try dousing me with. Hah! I love humor!

This is PRETTY NAILS
original pastels on paper, image size 9″ x 12″
framed and matted – 11 x 14 total size.

If you love to laugh like I do, and want to be reminded of laughter each time you look at this, contact me and it can be yours!

COMFORT? Or CANOODLING?

Which would you name it? At first I thought, “Comfort.”

But then as I looked at it more, it seemed like “Canoodling” would be a better name.

What do you think?

I had originally intended it to be totally hot, sizzling, and erotic.

But as I drew it out and added color, it became sweeter than that, nuzzling, comforting, canoodly – not hot and sizzling at all. Just… nice.

Who wouldn’t want to spend an afternoon canoodling on the beach like that?

Maybe I should name it Beach Afternoon…

COMFORT
Original pastels on art board
16″ x 20″
Contact me if you’d like to have it –
I don’t expect it to last long before it goes out the door –

A TRIPLE WHAMMY

I’m Safe in Your Hands – Starshine Alabaster, 24″ tall

I posted on Facebook a couple days ago that I hadn’t been feeling well. No worries – not The Big V Thing! I got triple-whammied by other completely stupid stuff!

First, I must have eaten something off, because I started feeling weak and nauseated.

I was about to go to bed and let it wear off when my neighbor, “Keil”, came over with his little dog, Demon. Yep, his real name, because – he is.

Demon loves fetch, so we were playing a little bit on the front steps. Because I wasn’t feeling my toppest-best, I lost focus for second. That’s when Demon grabbed my fingers in a vice-like-grip that I thought would tear them off.

Luckily, I know how to disengage little jaws like his with those sharp little teeth! I got him off me, and thankfully no blood, but sharp pain and deep bruising coming on fast.

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BAAAAAAAAH!

Today I saw a shorty little video on FB by a gal who has a bunch of farm animals that bonded to her and follow her along like dogs – including turkeys, goats and sheep, and even a deer!

Halfway through the video, one of the sheep – thick with a year’s worth of wool still on it – started running and jumping like a playful puppy! OMG it was SO cute!

So here she is – how could I resist?

BAAAAAH!
Pastels on paper – 9″x12″
Available – PM me if you want it!
It comes matted in a temporary frame to protect it during shipping and during the time you take to get it to the real framer!

MY NEW BOOK!

A few weeks ago, I was approached by a not-so-very-well-known company that prints books, art prints and other arty products.

They wanted me to submit a book of images for them to print. The deal was they’d give me $150 off the printing price in exchange for a review.

I’m thinking, “Huh? 150 bucks? Who spends that on printing a book?? Even amazon, where it costs me $15 to print one of my 90-page all-color art books, isn’t as bad as that!”

So I figured, just for fun, I’d put together a 100-page all-color book of photographs and images, and detail shots, of some of my best artwork over the last 20 years, and call it a 20-Year Retrospective. (Get it HERE)

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2-YEAR TRUCKABOUT

In the mid-80s, I had been living in Kailua, on Oahu, in Hawaii. I had a nice house, drove a Volvo station wagon, had a simple carving studio, enough to eat…but I was unhappy.

And I couldn’t figure out why. So I sold everything I owned except for a few favorite things, sold my car, and hopped on a plane to San Francisco where I had friends I could stay with.

I bought a brand new Toyota Forerunner (one of the first ones, ever, without the back doors – boy did I come to hate not having those back doors!), some camping basics. I set about going on the road for as long as it took. I wanted to do an enforced ‘art fast’ to see if making art was ‘really mine.’ Continue reading

THE EVOLUTION of A PASTEL PAINTING

I’ve been asked how I do these pastel paintings.

I do them in three main stages.

First comes the idea, sketched roughly in black ink on a little scrap of paper.

Then, I prepare a bigger sheet of paper or art board with a special gesso primer that has marble dust in it, so it’s like about a 200 grit sand paper. I also add a medium rust color to it as undercoat.

I do a soft sketch on that surface. Then, when I’m sure of my lines, I make them darker using a very soft, very black pencil, and spray it with fixitive, so the lines don’t smudge if I touch them as I’m painting with the pastels.

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RASCALLY REINDEER & BUDDIES

Art always makes me feel better. Like somehow, I’m Doing My Life Right.

Maybe it’s because I go into a trancey kind of out-there in-there smooth, calm, non-thinking zone state while I’m creating art.

Maybe it’s because when I see those bright colors something grabs me deep in my heart, and says ‘life can’t be ALL bad when brilliant colors like that are alive and well!’

And maybe it’s just because it’s a realm in which I feel utterly comfortable, and able to run around like a mad woman and just bloody well have fun.

Who knows? And really, who cares why? I don’t! I just wanna have fun.

I hope you like Rascal with his pointy antlers and his silly above and below-ground buddies!

RASCALLY REINDEER & BUDDIES
Original, pastels on paper, 12″x9″
Both original and prints are available
Contact me if you want to add it to your collection.

LEONARD LEOPARD

I’ve been talking about procrastination lately. Mainly because I’ve been doing it, myself. I know, bad me.

I couldn’t figure out why until speaking with a friend today. I happened to just blurt out that after this relief money runs out, I’m worried that my life will fall flat, that I won’t be able to sell enough art.

What’s that about???

In truth – it’s that I still need to have belief in myself, and have trust that my work is good, that people will love and want it – and buy it. Enough that I can maintain my little lifestyle as it is without more sacrifices.

I guess 16 years of living in a tiny shack back in Hawaii kind of put a dent in my self-regard. I think I’m doing pretty well, actually, after all is said and done, but I need more faith, and maybe to expand my ability to let in the messages of love and support that already pour in.

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REAL SELF-CARE

WHAT DO YOU PUT UP WITH?

Last weekend, I got a call from a man I hadn’t heard from in 20+ years. At first I was glad to hear from him. But then –

He didn’t ask if it was a good time to talk.
He didn’t ask how I was or anything about my life these days.
He did go on and on about the current political morass, the virus situation, how he’d been ‘dragged through’ a devastating divorce…

I’m not one to sit around and complain – not only is that boring, but I’m too busy to spend time on that.

Instead, I consider what I don’t like, and if it’s something I can change, I’ll take what steps I need in order to do that.

If it’s something I cannot change, I try to change my attitude towards it, so at least it doesn’t sit inside my mind scraping at my internal peace.

PATTERN INTERRUPT…

So in the middle of one of his complaints, I asked, “Sounds like a lot to take – what are you doing to alleviate your stress?”

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RIVER WOLF

Sometimes I get caught by the Shoulds. As you probably know, besides being an avid sculptor and painter, I’ve also been a Peak Performance coach for many years.

When covid hit, I put everything on the back burner and hibernated for 2 months.

Then this little Voice in my mind popped up, saying, “You should do (all these things people would love and want).”

So of course I start trying to go about doing this and doing that, and scattered my attention all over the place.

It felt awful. And exhausted me almost immediately, so I just fell back into hibernation mode.

Lately I have been really keeping a close eye on what >I< want to do, what >I< want to put my attention on, what >I< love in my life.

It’s made a big difference – I feel respect for myself for who I am and what I do, and I do DO what I want and love to do, rather than worrying about what people will do or say about what I do.

Don’t get me wrong – the time when I really really worried about that is long gone! But there were a few clingy hangers-on that needed to be clipped.

So here’s Wolfy, down at the river, laughing with Funny Fish on the left, who is sticking his little red tongue out, trying to slobber on Wolfy’s toes.

And all the Night-Birdies caroling away under the Moon and waiting for the sun to rise. All of them just having bald-ass fun, the way Life is Supposed to Be.

RIVER WOLF
Original pastels on paper, 12″ x 9″
PM me if it says to you that it wants to come live in your house.

 

 

THREE SISTERS of JOY

Fish have always meant happiness to me.

Maybe because I spent so much time sitting on the dock near my childhood house, feet swinging over the water, as I caught buckets of bluefish and flounder.

Maybe it’s because they are so varied and graceful, and so beautiful.

When I lived in Hawaii, seeing them flash in and out of the coral – flash! swim this way, flash! swim that way, all at once, just like birds in the sky, flying in murmurations – it seemed like magic.

So here are the Three Sisters of Joy, swimming in and out of the sea grass and coral, accompanied by starfish friends and others. In brilliant color, natch.

This is an original pastel on paper, 9″x12″
Prints available, too.

 

THREE ON A TREE

Someone asked me to do this one for her, as a gift for someone’s baby.

The mom has three rambunctious kids, so I figured each one needed to have a bear.

And of course they are going for the honey comb, right? What else do naughty bears do?

(And Rabbit wonders how soon they will tumble out of the tree full of bee stings – but he’s wrong, you see, because the bears and the bees have an agreement…)

This is the original, framed in a temporary frame to keep it safe from smudging or other damage.

If you would like it or a print, let me know – use the contact button to the left of the screen, or the contact tab at the top of the site. I return emails and notes lickety-split.

Original pastel on paper, 9″ x 12″, temp frame.
Prints available.

SILLY TIGER

Silly Tiger says…

“Those minty leaves look so refreshing! And my new pink hairdo feels so divine!”

More silliness is required the longer we are in lockdown, yes? Here’s to silliness for your day.

Original – pastels on 12″x12″ gessoed board
Prints – available in 11″x11 on paper
Contact me if you’d like one or the other!
(sorry it’s so out of focus – he wouldn’t stand still…)

SAFE

Testimonials are so cool to get – check this one out for this little happy bears painting I did, “Safe,” for my friend, the terrific Florida scenes  painter, Linda Blondheim.

“I asked Angela to do a painting for my granddaughter’s nursery.

She did a painting in pastels, and even happily made a small adjustment for me immediately.

I am so delighted with her painting and the extra care and effort she made for me. Thank you Angela for your excellent service.
~ Linda Blondheim, Florida

Thank YOU Linda – it’s an honor to get a commission from an artist I highly respect!

HONEY BEAR

Who doesn’t like honey!

When Honey Bear went to the river today, he found part of a honey comb that had fallen from the Honey Tree! What a score!

As the bees buzzed around him trying to get it back, he grabbed it and off he ran!

Soon he slowed down and started snacking, not able to resist the divine nectar contained within one second longer.

All the River Critters came to the surface and said, “Honey Bear, will you share?”

And of course, being a sweet, generous soul, he said yes…

Honey Bear – pastels on paper, 9″ x 12″

MOON GODDESS

I keep getting these kind of allegorical images in my dreams.

They look like they ought to be part of some huge mural somewhere.

I like that they have these lines of energy running through them – I’ve never painted that before. I see the lines, but have never depicted them.

If you look through my work over the years, you can see that the subjects of woman-in-boat, moon, fishies, and the ocean are all part of my inner language. I like how this one came out. (Sorry about the reflections in the glass – hard to photograph an already-framed piece!)

MOON GODDESS
Original – 9″x12″ pastels on paper.

MIRROR, MIRROR…

I did a few sketches while I was on the phone with a friend a few days ago. They were all of silly gators having fun one way or another.

I liked the idea of this one – “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who’s the prettiest gator of them all….” Yeah, I know – I’m really nuts.

MIRROR, MIRROR…
Original 9″x12″ pastels on paper

STRANGE PLANET

Recently, as we spoke on the phone, a non-artist friend asked me where I get my ideas from.

I told him, from photos I’ve taken, from nature, from words I hear that give me a feeling and an image, from memories, from dreams –

Then he asked, what would you see, first thing, if you opened your space ship door on a new planet?

So this is what I ‘saw’ –

Painting it was such a challenge, because I have no idea if those are buildings, or people, or plants, or – who knows what?

So I just guessed color and placement and energy and sun and contrast – and I like it!

STRANGE PLANET
Original 12″x 9″ pastels on paper.
Available

HAENA BEACH

I lived on the Hawaiian island of Kauai for several years, on the other side of the island from this lovely beach.

We used to go there once in a while to picnic. It took us an hour to drive there, but was so worth going.

I often wonder what it looks like now, as it’s been 40 or more years since I lived on Kauai, and erosion, hurricanes and just everyday tides can change landscapes so radically.

I do miss living in Hawaii – the mild temp, the scent of flowers in the air, the salty sea smell, walking on the beach. Not sure I’d ever go back to live there, though.

HAENA BEACH

Original pastels on paper, 9″ x 12″
available

EMERGING

For the first two covid months of lockdown, I felt like I was drowning – in too much grogginess, too much where’s the money, too much confusion, anger and fear.

I decided things had to change in a big way.

A dear friend was kind enough to give me some real feedback: that I was sending out a mixed message: fear and anxiety on the one hand, and teaching how to market without fear!

Unh-huh – nothing like walking two paths at once! Like that ever works!

So I have spent a lot of solid time in deep thought and meditation, asking myself questions like – what do I want for my life? What does make me feel good? What things do I love so much I’d never give them up? How do I want my work to be seen? And many other questions, the answers for which help me define my life and work.

I threw out as much “I should” activities as I could think of. I made lists of things, activities and people I love the most. I dreamed a reality I want to live in, and am taking steps to manifest and build it.

The day after my most powerful meditation, a very decent amount of money came to me, so I have been able to replenish my paint and pastel supplies. It’s amazing to not have to skimp and watch every drop of paint I use, or collect the pastel dust for making background color.

Life feels much more solid now. I know I’m not completely out of the soup yet, but it feels great to finally come up for air again, after having felt like nothing would ever work for me again, whether during or after the lockdown.

How are you doing?

Do you feel anxious and confused, maybe a little (or a lot) angry?

If I might offer and suggestion: what I did/am doing my best to do is focusing on my Dream a little more every day, and allowing myself to let go of the fear and other destructive thoughts that bring me down.

The more I do that, the less down I feel, and the more able I am to feel productive and content.

The Dream comes first, though – spending time thinking up what you love most … and then dropping other stuff away that doesn’t feel good or makes you unhappy, then building up what you do want – that’s the ticket.

EMERGING
Original pastel on heavy paper – 9″ x 12″ available

SAN BLAS 1

In 2006, I visited the tiny town of San Blas, Mexico.

One of the first things I noticed was the number of pickup trucks driving around, 3 or 4 soldiers in the back, 2 in front – with submachine guns, dark glasses, camouflage uniforms and all.

Kinda freaked me out – I’m not accustomed to such a blatant military presence. I never did get used to seeing those trucks everywhere.

The beach there has such a strange configuration – the breakers are about 100 yards out from the beach, and the water between the breakers and the beach edge is about 3″ deep. You can pretty much walk almost all the way out to the breakers without getting even your knees wet!

I must have taken 40 bazillion photos of this strange phenomenon, but couldn’t get even one to correctly portray the effect. Ah well.

I’ve been playing with pastels a lot lately, and here’s one of the beach, looking over that shallow water at the edge, facing south towards Puerto Vallarta.

It’s dark – mainly because I used black paper – experimenting.

What do you think?

SAN BLAS #1
Pastels on paper, 9″ x 12″ original. Available.

SURELY, FISH KNOWS THE WAY

I’m not an adherent of any recognizable religion – my folks never went to church, so I never got the classic religious conditioning many kids did in the 50s when I grew up.

But I did have a few pretty traumatizing events happen in my teens that made me keenly aware of my mortality. By the time I was 19, I cried myself to sleep every night, afraid I wouldn’t awaken the next day. I had no supporting faith to pillow my mind or heart.

Then I bumped into a book called The Robe, about the Roman soldier who was put in charge of holding Jesus’ robe when Jesus was put up on the cross. I found it very moving, and dived into Christianity to see if I liked it.

I did and I didn’t. The Old Testament – what a sordid story! Jesus’ teachings were sweet and pure, but what people did and still do in his name made/makes me sick.

Thus, I started looking elsewhere. I studied the Eastern faiths, and got even deeper into, studied, trained in and even got certified in some of the many and various common and esoteric psychic phenomena, channeling, healing, astrology, numerology and other ‘ologies, Old Masters, and metaphysics.

After a 50+ year search, I have come to the conclusion that there is no man-made organization that fits what I now feel about the whole thing.

I’ve simply come to think of ‘god’ as That.

It’s that unknowable, unthinkable, never-ending, infinitely enormous, raw, and richly alive expanse of Something/Nothing that I can jusssst barely perceive – that exists at the corner of the corner of my eye if I don’t look right at it…

If I get still, and allow myself to feel/hear EVERYthing, I can hear it – kind of…

If I get still, I can ‘see’ it – kind of…

Where ever It is, what ever It is, it fills me with joy – sometimes to the point of tears.

It quiets me when I’m afraid.

Lately, it has given me great comfort.

It tells me everything that is mine is already here for me, and all there is to do is match my vibrational frequencies to the highest ones possible, and all will be fine.

So far, it’s true. When I remember to make the high choice – not the choice from the needy or fearful place in my thoughts – it comes true – and even better than I’d have ever thought.

This covid adventure is a case in point – I had been completely freaked that I’d end up on the street for lack of sales.

Instead, I’ve received unemployment benefits that not only paid back bills I was petrified about, but my rent, AND has allowed me to restock my studio with supplies.

I feel so full of gratitude I can hardly bear it sometimes.

In some faiths, a fish is a symbol of That.
Fish really does know The Way.

SURELY, FISH KNOWS THE WAY
Gouaches on Sumi ink, 5″ x 7″ – prints available.

THE BALANCE

The Balance is the 2-ton piece I carved at the Oamaru International Limestone Sculpture Symposium I was invited to participate in when I was Artist-in-Residence in Gore, New Zealand.

I felt so fortunate to be a part of that symposium! Me, a little 55-year old funky sculptor from the US – whoddathunkit!

But choose me they did, and I got to spend 10 days carving with some of the most wonderful carvers from all over the world – even as far from NZ as Holland.

Sometimes when I look back on this piece, and the shared international camaraderie, i just want to weep.

Our planet’s boat is far from being in balance, and it looks like it’ll be a long time until – if ever- it gets there – especially with the US gov continually trying to knock down health requirements and protections for people, animals and places.

Our international standing, in the US, is degraded so far as to make it so our citizens are prohibited from entry into many countries.

Our healthcare system has collapsed, with a zillion sick and everyone on lockdown.

Statues are being torn down, violent protests, people fighting over whether or not to wear masks – what a mess.

I don’t think this sculpture will be torn down, though – unless, of course, some puritan sect gets its panties in a twist about (gasp! shocking!) nekked people.

To me, this piece means the grace that happens when you stand in unity of purpose, love, commitment to the higher purpose, co-operation, and, yes – balance.

Because without those things, how can we possibly survive?

THE BALANCE – original stone sculpture –
5′ x 4′ x 2′ Oamaru Limestone

MANDALA: SACRED

A friend of mine posted on FB today, asking how old we were when we got our first traffic ticket. This little story popped into my mind right off:

I would have been 22. I was late learning how to drive – I had driving-phobia. So one day I took it upon myself to get over it, I decided to drive my BF’s car to the store. It was an old Pontiac sedan. This was in 1967, so it must have looked like something out of one of those old-timey movies. And of course – I had no drivers license.

On my way home, for some reason, Mr. cop pulled me over. I decided I’d treat him like an angel. When he came to my door, I thanked him for stopping me, and asked him if he could please give me advice as to correct whatever it was I was doing wrong.

I thought-sent clouds of love and light at him, swamping him with it, as if he really was an angel.

He got this weird look on his face, backed away, thanked me for my time, ran back to his car and drove off. Never got that ticket!

This is one of the 90-odd mandalas I painted way back in ’99 when I was homeless. I house-sat a lot, and spent most of my time painting these.

I doused for the design with my little bitty dousing rod, and then painted them in by hand. Each design radiates a different frequency or energy. You can see more of them here on my ART site.

IN MY WINDOW

After I got back to the States from New Zealand in 2002, I was filled with gratitude to be back in Hawaii again. I wanted to do a bunch of paintings celebrating the culture, and yet not be blatant, touristy-looking hawaiiana-ized.

This was the first of the series. Each one was underpainted in various colors, so when I painted over those colors, I’d get a glazed effect..

On this one, I liked the underpainting so much I kept it as is, without painting anything else on top of it.

I think one of the things I like best about it is the feeling of her physical strength and fluidity, playing against an emotional fragility – she’s unsure, yet the light streams in and fills her.

Emotions kind of like where we’re at right now. We are all so unsure – and yet, we still have deep hopes for a much better future.

Well, maybe not everyone feels that way, but I do.

Original was 24″ x 30″, oils on archival art board