I started out tonight intending to write a story about a disastrous sailing adventure I had when I was 15.

Then I started thinking about how, in the past three or four weeks, people who have said they would meet me at an agreed-upon time either never showed, or were an hour or more late (pet peeve!!!).

As I sat here trying to write the adventure, the being-late scenarios kept popping up.

So I surrendered, and started writing about them, instead.

Why? Because to me, being late is a gross imposition.

My time is beyond precious — when people trod all over it, I get pretty pissed. I have a backlog of art aching to come out of me onto canvas, paper and ipad. It’s a struggle keeping up with it. Getting interrupted, and then having a no-show is infuriating.

Not one of the people who were late notified me they weren’t coming, or that they had glitches in their lives delaying them. Grrrrrrrr.

The first no-show I just shrugged off, thinking ah well, she just blew it by mistake, no biggie.

She rescheduled for the next day — and didn’t show, again.

She tried to resched a third time, but I told her to just forget it. She said she felt hurt, and couldn’t understand why I was upset.

I told her it was because not only was she violating my art-creating time, I had rescheduled other people so I could make time for her visit. To have her not show up was beyond rude. I felt disrespected, treated as if I didn’t matter, as if my life was unimportant to her.

She still didn’t get it. Ah well. Now I know who I can trust. Not.

To add to the mix is how, because of a health issue that pesters me, it’s extremely painful for me to do the simple act of getting up out of my chair. Not to mention walking across the room, step by excruciating step.

So when someone says they’ll be here at an appointed time, I start my journey from studio to front door 15 minutes early. Then I sit and wait for them, so I don’t have to rush from my studio to open up for them.

Rushing hurts. I have become The Tortoise.

After it becomes evident they’re late, it’s a dilemma — do I go back to my studio, thumping through the house with my walker, hurting with each step — possibly only to turn around and hump on back when they finally show up just as I sit back down at my desk? Or do I sit and rest and take advantage of the break?

Today broke me.

I had placed an ad for some freebies on FB. The folks who claimed them messaged me, “We’ll be there right at 1:00 pm!”

1:00. 1:15. 1:30. Dammit — I had left my phone in my studio. Do I keep waiting? Do I go back to my studio? Grrrrrrr!

Feeling annoyed. Then frustrated. Inconvenienced. And finally, very angry. I use the word ‘very’ because any other word that would emphasize how I felt would be not safe for print.

When they finally arrived an HOUR and 15 minutes late, my supply of Nice had evaporated, disappearing into the farthest reaches of my brain.

I did my best to be civil, but made it quite clear that they had inconvenienced me in a big way.

Not only that, but they were getting something I could have charged them a right nice amount of money for — but I just wanted to be rid of the things, so I offered them free.

Next time? Moolah rules. People show up when money is involved.

Yes, I could have messaged them! But I chose to avoid the pain of walking back to my studio to get my phone. So yes, I do have to admit responsibility for that.

When I finally got back to my studio, I was now free to make some phone calls I had planned. But I was still steaming mad — barely human by that point, really — mad at them, mad at me for not bringing my phone with me.

So instead of trying to push down my feelings, or worse, blasting my fury energy all over anyone else through the phone, I went for what calms me down the most — drawing.

It puts me into The Zone, where there is nothing else but the drawing and me. A fine, peaceful place.

It took me a bit to get to the point where I could ‘listen’ and allow the image to come through, but eventually my huffy, offended self gave up and relinquished itself to the much more powerful creation process.

Then, Fishies Galore leaked right on out through my fingers.

I was initially going to doodle around making little fishies I could use as independent elements in another design. But somehow the combo of different fishies made itself into an integrated design all on its own.

It’s silly.
It’s fun.
It started to make me laugh.

That’s what I needed!

So I continued on, making another design.

This time, I challenged myself to draw a horse, since I have a hard time with horse anatomy. I figured, that oughta make the mads simmer down. And out came a design that I really love.

Spikey stallions rear and play

It reminded me that love exists.

I’d forgotten that for a moment, so occupied was I with feeling riled and sorry for myself.

See, that’s the key, isn’t it?
To do something you LOVE!

And then open to actually FEEL that love, experience it, let it bubble through your veins, and let it wash all the griping and annoyance and feeling disrespected on out of your system? Sweet.

I’m still confused, though.

What is it about today’s society that makes it OK to be so inconsiderate? If I’d been late for my folks when I was growing up, you can bet I’d get the riot act read into my very hot red ears!

What happened to respect, being considerate, honoring people by showing up on time?

Are people just not brought up that way anymore?

Maybe it’s just me — or do other people get stood up like that and don’t mind, or say anything about it?

Well, next time I make an appointment, you can bet I shall be sure to say, “please be on time, because I‘m going to move other people around so I can take time to visit with you!”

Or, “I have to leave right after you pick these items up, so if you want your freebies, show up on time, because I won’t wait for you.”

Or, if I have to plan the meet for a time when I’m usually in my studio, I think I’ll say, “This is cutting into my usual arting hours, so I’d appreciate it a lot if you’d make sure to be on time!”

I could have done some EFT, but was so mad I actually forgot about tapping! (EFTinEveryHome.com)

At least I got some good designs out of all this — when I awoke this morning, I hadn’t had a single inkling they were waiting to emerge! I’m so grateful they came out and saved me from having a crappy remainder of the day!

What do you do when you lose it?
What do you do to come back to your senses?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

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Thanks so much for reading about my odyssey today — I appreciate you!

What do you do to come back to your senses?
© Angela Treat Lyon 2024

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I invite you to check out my latest drawings and lots of other art:
instagram.com/angela.treat.lyon/

Be On Time